Potus OpenMic, Part I

March 19

Meanwhile in the Oval Office that had been converted to a studio for the Open Microphone sessions, Potus sat in his chair behind his big desk.  An assistant dusted his face with a powder and he sneezed violently.  He waved her off in frustration.

Potus peered at the bright lights shining in his eyes and tried to call for help.  “Anybody there?  When do we start with this infernal thing?”

Chief of Staff standing to the side, called out in support, “We’re doing great Sir, we’re scheduled to go live at 8 pm Eastern.  Three minutes, Sir.”

“How will I know when that is?” Potus asked.

“We’ll tell you, Sir.  Look for the green light in front of the camera.”

“I see a green light now.  We’re not fucking live now are we?”

“Oh no, sir, this is the World Wide Web, nothing is live yet,” answered CoS.  “Actually,” he said and trailed off.

“Actually, what?” asked Potus.

CoS turned around and spoke to someone behind him who was working on a lot of computer equipment and staring at monitors.

“Actually, what, numb nuts?” said Potus, escalating his tone.

“Sir, we’re live,” said CoS.

Potus suddenly froze and smiled.  The director on the other side of the camera waved in a circular motion.

“Dear My Fellow Americans,” Potus started and stopped when he heard a snicker from somewhere behind the lights.  He couldn’t find the source of the snicker so he continued, “Tonight I’m addressing you in an informal town-hall style Open Microphone dialog.  We’ve setup computer centres in Los Angeles, Oregon, Miami, New York, Jackson Hole, Chicago, and about 20 other locations.  The FBI have been providing security and background checks for any citizens who want to show up and speak with me.  We published the locations last week in local papers and all that is required is a passport and a wristband for entry.  This is a truly extraordinary once in a lifetime event.

“Now, I’m sure the technology is very fancy and the testing has been thorough.  However, I’m sure we’ll have some technical glitches.  This broadcast is also being sent live through the ABC, NBC and CBS affiliates.  CNN can go fuck themselves, pardon the expression.  No offense, I mean.  Truly, this worldwide phenomenon has not been matched in the history of governance.  I am the one who has brought it to you.

“Here are the rules of the event.  First, we’ll bring in someone randomly for 30 seconds.  They can speak, ask a question, or what have you.  Then I’ll respond for 30 seconds.  At my discretion, we can go another round of 30 seconds if warranted.  I can also cut anyone off for any reason; for example, if you have memorised some propaganda or if you start advertising some product you are trying to sell, I’ll eighty-six you immediately.  As soon as the 60 seconds or less is over, the computer systems will pull a random person who is waiting next at a location and they will have a try.  As long as everyone is ready to speak when his or her light turns green, we can make this happen smoothly.  It might take a few tries to see how everything works out, but if you’ll bear with us, we’ll see if we can make this work.”

Potus paused, waited for the director to nod, and then continued.  “So here we go, we’re bringing in our first customer.  Who do we have here?”

A woman’s face appeared, staring straight out into the world from within the screen.

Potus said, “Go ahead.”

The woman looked to the left and said, “I can’t see anything.”

Potus said, “I’m here, ma’am, go ahead.”

The woman retreated and disappeared from view, complaining in the distance.

Potus said, “Next.  Who’s next?”