Thursday, May 23, 2013

Potus rewrites

I need to get serious about rewriting some parts of Potus, so I'll post them here:

New, during the state of the union address:

“Martin Luther King Junior was a great blurthk man…” (here Potus coughed to cover up his mistake) “…a great man who had a dream. I also have a dream. I actually have two dreams. I’m not saying that my dreams are better than his. But he only had one dream and I have two. Anyway, one of my dreams is to put an end to the great scourge of Daylight Saving. My second dream is to eat a great lunch once in a while. But I digress.”
New dialogue before the first press conference begins.

"No, I mean the press.  We should arrest them all."
Secretary of Defence seemed to have regained his colour and composure.  He joked, "I don't think there's enough room to hold them all."
"Sure there is," snapped Potus.  "Just turn the whole state of Texas into a penitentiary.  We'd have plenty of room for them and all the potheads and kinky freaks who want to have marital relations with a gas tank."
Everyone frowned.
"What?" Potus asked.  "It's just a saying."
Chief of Staff, thinking ahead, said, "Sir, what are you going to say?  We won't have any time to write up some talking points."
Potus answered, "We'll use an old trick from the movies.  I'll just curse a lot and they'll have to bleep me out."
Chief of Staff continued, “But sir, they will still air the curse words live. CNN is particularly bad about that.”
Potus nodded. “You’re right. Tell them I’ll be out in 20 minutes. Then I’ll come out in 15 and they’ll still be in commercials.”
"Genius, Sir," exclaimed Chief of Staff.
"Have you ever heard of a sycophant?" asked Potus.  He strode out, motioning Johnson to follow.

Added scene in the first press conference, during the famous shoe incident:

"Sir, yes, Sir, I am waiting to speak," said a press reporter from the middle row with an accent.
Potus pointed at the young man.  "You, raccoon guy with the accent."
Raccoon guy tried to speak above the clamour.  "Yes thanks to you.  I am Chathuranga Wallaheller Srinivasiani from the Sri Lankan Daily Dinamina and I am pleased to ask you a question."
"Yes, go ahead.  Quiet down!" Potus yelled at the other reporters. "Wally Something wants to speak."
"Chathuranga Wallaheller..." Wally began.
"Yes, yes," waved Potus.  "Charlie So-and-So."
"You may call me by Frank," Charlie said.
Potus said, "There's a great American name, Frank.  Wonderful, go ahead, Frank."
“I don’t understand Racoon,” said Frank.
“Go ahead, Frank.”
“I…” Frank looked behind him, uncertain what was going on.
“Look,” said Potus, “If you don’t understand the words that are coming out of my mouth, then fuck you.”
Frank looked perplexed.
“Calm down,” Potus yelled at the hubbub in the press room. “Frank, you may speak with the Office of the President now. Go ahead.”
"Thank you for the wonderful honour, Mr. President of the United States.  

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