Monday, June 17, 2013

Potus rewrites

From the end scene where Potus explains what happened to the British Prime Minister.

The CIA director said, "I believe we're causing an international incident."

"Pssh," said Potus.  "I'll clear everything up with a speech.  I'm excellent at speeches."

“The people will believe you when you say things,” agreed the CIA director.

“They should believe me,” said Potus. “I’m very knowledgeable and trustworthy.”

"We can arrange a press conference soon," said the CIA director.  "But you, Sir, need to, uh, you know, um…  Get dressed."


The climax scene with the CIA Director, explaining the election results for Potus:

“There’s one more thing before you go, said the CIA Director, motioning Potus and Shaniqua to sit. “It’s with regard to the legitimacy of your presidential title.”

“Those are serious allegations and I won’t stand for them,” said Potus, refusing to sit.

“Clam down, calm down,” said the CIA Director. “During investigations earlier this year over voter irregularities, we detected some quote-unquote, lost votes.” Here the CIA Director made air-quotes over his head. He continued, “These lost votes were in favour of your opponent who narrowly lost several key battleground states.”
“Quote-unquote?” asked Potus, making air-quotes.
“Sure,” answered the CIA Director shrugging. “Not a big deal. We made it go away.” Here the large man from the NSA nodded. The CIA Director continued, “We traced some of the problem to daylight saving miscalculations in the voting machines produced by VMA Corp. It turns out that several clocks inside the voting machines hadn’t been set back for the fall time and discounted the votes received later in the evening.”
Potus sat in shock, taking in the news.

“Sir,” continued the CIA Director, “I understand this is immense news and I didn’t want to share it with you until we were sure. We’ve already covered it up and you’re good to go. So no worries there, we can talk about it any time.”

“The Daylight Savings bug?” asked Potus incredulously. “I hate Daylight Savings, but it got me elected?”

“Yes, Sir, it seems that way. Thought you should know,” said the CIA Director. He shrugged again.

“I am become death, destroyer of worlds,” said Potus.

The CIA Director said, “No, Sir, that was Oppenheimer. You are the creator of worlds! You are the ruler of worlds! You are the president!”

The CIA Director and large man from the NSA both stood and saluted. Potus saluted limply and turned to pad out of the room barefoot, followed by Shaniqua. Shaniqua turned to both men as she neared the door and flipped them the bird.

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