Conveniently, in the Oval Office, Potus met with Speaker of the House. They sat across from each other with the large desk between them.
Potus said, "Thanks for coming to see me. I know there might be some bad blood between us ever since the primary.”
Speaker of the House made a condescending nod with his head.
Potus continued, “As you know, we said some difficult things about each other, but that is normal for candidates vying for their party’s nomination.”
Speaker of the House raised his hand in a conciliatory gesture and said, “That’s OK. That’s all in the past. I would have preferred to receive the nomination. I was disappointed to say the least. But I’m able to overcome our differences and pretend I like you.”
Potus smiled. “That’s what I like. Honesty. So rare these days. May I say that I desperately hate your guts. I’m just clearing the air. God, that feels wonderful! As much as it pains me to say so, I wish you would drop dead in a vat of acid."
"That's uncomfortable," said the Speaker of the House. "I came here to discuss things civilly, especially since we're from the same political party."
"Oh," said Potus. "I didn't realise that. ." Potus rummaged through a pile of papers on his desk. “I thought we were meeting as enemies. It’s a whole good politician/bad politician thing.”
"I understand. Now as you know, sir, you have ignored our requests to come talk to you for the better part of a year. I think that is a grave disservice to the country and to the balance of powers in this great nation."
"Bullshit," coughed Potus into his hand.
Later on,
"Don't sir me. I'm just getting started," Potus snapped. "And what about the time changes in the spring and winter? Nobody likes that. Why doesn’t everyone just leave a little earlier to go to work? You do not have to change the clocks. What's the progress on that?"
"Sir, daylight savings is proven to save energy and it's good for the environment. Daylight savings saves lives and money."
"Bullshit," coughed Potus into his hand again.
"It's not bullshit."
"It is too."
"Is not."
"Is too bullshit." Potus held up a sheet of paper. “Right here, it says that four people died last year from Daylight Saving changes. In the spring, people lose sleep and they die.”
“That’s not real,” said Speaker of the House.
“Is too.”
"No it's not."
"Is is is. It’s right here in black and white. "
"Is not. Isn't isn't isn't."
And further, a play on the Speaker's title.
"No, sir, I do not like it one bit. Maybe if you didn't grant cunnilingus to rodent capybara in the middle of the night, you'd be able to speak better."
"I've never even been to South America," screamed Speaker of the House. "And another thing, you sick bastard. How do you even know what a capybara is? There's no way someone could have figured that out without some insider knowledge." Speaker of the House rose from his seat.
Potus stood up as well behind his desk. "Ha, I don't need any insider knowledge. I am the man on the inside. I am an Office. I have executive powers of observation. I am able to discern what the people of America need me to see. I'm chosen above all others to lead. And you, what are you? Just a speaker in some house? Anybody can speak in a house. I’m Office."
Johnson came in with the Chief of Staff. Potus motioned him over. "Johnson, remove Speaker of the House before I do harm to him."
After Speaker of the House left, Potus sat down while the Chief of Staff looked on. The Chief of Staff asked, "Sir, how did it go with Speaker? I assume it didn't go well."
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