Thursday, July 10, 2014

Solution rewrite

"After the Snowden incidents, we executed him after a fair trial. Nothing more needs to be said," said the large man from the NSA.

"I disagree," said Potus waving his hand. "You're implicated in some experiments with the Humble," here there were murmurs of correction and Potus waved his hand again, "...or whatever you call it... You don't have to answer to the common American every-man but you do have to answer to me, their supreme leader of the free world."

The large man from the NSA made a circular motion with his hand near his head. Potus frowned. "What's he doing?" Potus asked.

The large man from the NSA made more insistent motions with his hands, waving them strangely. Samantha spoke up. "He's playing charades," she said. The large man nodded vehmently and pointed at Sam with one hand while pointing at his nose with the other.

"Why?" asked Potus.

"Possibly because he wants to say something but doesn't want to be on the record," said U.N. Ambassador. She pointed at the microphones around the table. The man from the NSA nodded and pointed with his fingers at his nose and U.N. Ambassador.

"Oh, goody then," said Potus rubbing his hands with glee. "I love charades. Ok, continue."

The large man from the NSA gesticulated while everyone prepared to narrate. Potus said, "Eight words. A saying. Nine. Nine words. Seven words. No, eight. Nine. One, two, three, four... Make up your mind!"

The large man from the NSA nodded and counted. He held up nine fingers. Potus continued, "Nine words. First word. One syllable. Fuck you. No, fuck me. No, fuck you. That's two words. Second word.  One syllable. Me. No? You. You. Ok, I got it, 'Fuck you'."

The large man from the NSA nodded vigorously. Potus continued, "Fourth word. One syllable. Five. Fingers."

UN Ambassador cried, "Hand!"

The man from the NSA waved wildly.

"Fifth word, he's correcting himself," said Chief of Staff.

The man from the NSA nodded and pointed at Chief of Staff with his idex finger and his nose with the other.

"Fifth word, go on," said Potus. "Driving a car. Car. Racing a car."

UN Ambassador cried, "Galloping!"

Chief of Staff said, "Racing a horse!"

Potus said, "Riding a horse. Riding? Horse!"

The man from the NSA nodded and pointed, making circles with his fingers then pointing at Potus.

"Riding a horse? Riding. Horses. Horse riding," said Potus. "Come on, man! Okay, seventh word. Eighth word. Seven. Eigth. Seven...  Okay, seven, eight, and nine."

The large man from the NSA nodded and made two fingers on one hand walk up and down the length of the conference table in front of him.

"Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!" cried Mark suddenly.

The large man from the NSA waved both arms at Mark triumphantly. He waved his arms magnanimously to display Mark's heroic efforts to those around the table. Everyone politely clapped except Samantha Griffen who wore an expression of exasperation.

"I think it should be 'the horse on which you have ridden in'," offered UN Ambassador, trailing off. After a long pause  she closed with, "Upon." Chief of Staff patted her hand and smiled to the table uncomfortably.

"Fuck you and the horse you rode in on," repeated Potus slowly. "That makes no sense. I've never ridden a horse. I'm from Kansas. I speak plainly so that people can understand me. You should learn to do the same."

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