POTUS 2/14 part II

“Good,” Potus slapped the table.  “What’s next?”

CoS put his glass back on.  The battle was over for now, or at least it was delayed.  “Sir, the Society for Peanut Growers would like have a meeting with you to discuss...”

Potus interrupted him but less angrily than before.  “A bunch of peanut assholes are going to come into my office and bother me?  What do they want?”

“Well, Sir, they would like to express their support for your office and ensure that their issues with exports and agriculture policy could be extended to include various interests and goals they have in mind.”

Potus stared blankly for a while.  Someone coughed around the table.  Potus leaned to his left and looked at Secretary of Defense, SoD.  He said, “Peanut?” and offered something in his palm.  SoD waved the offer off and made grumbling noises.  Potus leaned to his right and looked at Department of Justice, DoJ.  He raised his eyebrows and offered his empty palm.  “Peanut?”  DoJ laughed and pretended to reach for the imaginary peanut in Potus’ palm.  Potus closed his hand and pulled back in surprise.  “Hey now, these are mine, you can’t have any.”

CoS cleared his throat.  “Ok, Sir, I understand your meaning.  We’ll schedule the Peanut Growers’ Lobby later.”

Potus looked back at CoS and started picking imaginary peanuts out of his cupped palm and popping them into his mouth.  “No, on second thought,” he said, popping another imaginary peanut into his mouth and chewing thoughfully.  “No, I think we can have fun with this.  Tell them I will give them special favours if they agree to send a bag of peanuts to every child in the U.S.  We can have them give free government issued peanuts to the whole of America’s youths.”

Secretary of State, a slight woman on the conference call butted in shrilly.  “Sir, we can’t send peanuts to children in America, they might be allergic!”

Potus paused mid imaginary peanut throw.  He looked up at the ceiling and back down on his lap between the seat and table.  He laughed.  “Did you say they might be allergic?”

“Well, of course, it’s a big problem at a lot of schools.”

“I did not know that.  You mean they can’t eat peanuts?”

“No, Sir, they can’t.  If they do, they go into anaphylactic shock and they could die!”  Her voice shrilled especially higher on the last syallble.

CoS nodded sagely in agreement, pointing at the speaker phone.

Potus considered for a moment.  “Well, I don’t know about any anaphyll—Anna Phyllis...”

“Anaphylactic,” CoS and SoS said at the same time.

“Whatever.  Tell those kids from me that they can go smoke some more dope to calm their nerves.  They probably have asthma and diabetes so they can’t be much worse off than taking a mouth full of peanuts and having a little rash or something.”

CoS shifted uncomfortably in his seat.  He took off his glasses and started polishing them.  SoS was silent, or on mute.

Potus said, “Ok, what’s next?”