Potus, Inauguration part I

January 20

                Meanwhile on the West front of the U.S. Capitol, at 3:30pm Eastern Standard Time the crowds had gathered to witness the inauguration.  It was bitterly cold.  Potus-elect stamped his feet while the endless music played.  The First Lady-elect held his hand on his knee, trying to keep him still.  She kept nudging him to raise his hand and wave, which he did grudgingly.  When the last bars of music faded, Potus-elect was grateful and rose from his seat eagerly to stand at the lectern where the oath would be administered.

                He stood for a while, raising his right hand.  More music started and a parade of military regiments started moving in tight formations, waving flags.  First Lady-elect waved at Potus-elect, calling him back in a panic.  Potus-elect realised his error and dropped his raised hand to walk back to the chair.  First Lady-elect chided him under her breath, still managing somehow to smile and wave to the crowds.  Potus-elect pouted and stopped waving, ignoring his wife’s elbow jabs.

                Once again, the music stopped and Potus-elect stood but his wife dragged him down quickly.  A drum marshal began playing a drum roll.  After the drum roll, three drummers went rat-a-tat-tat-bum.  There was a pause.  Potus-elect tried to stand again, but his wife pulled him down by the arm.  The drummers began another sequence of rat-a-tat-bum-bum-tat-a-bum in perfect sequence.  Next, some counted.  All six snare drums sounded at once with a loud boom.  Everyone waited.

                First Lady-elect suddenly realised it was time, and prodded Potus-elect.  He waved her off and gesticulated at the drummers.  They stood motionless.  First Lady-elect pointed with a stabbing finger at the Chief Justice standing next to the lectern, waiting.  Potus-elect stood up quickly and strode over confidently, stopped and raised his right hand.

The First Lady-elect waved a white folded paper at the new President.  He dropped his arm, ran back to his seat to grab the sheet of paper, then ran back to the lectern.  As he turned, he knocked over a vase of flowers.  Three secret service agents rushed over to fix the vase and pick up the spilled pieces of plants.  Potus-elect tried to help guiltily, but the agents waved him over to the lectern.

Once the commotion had died down enough on the stage, Potus-elect faced the Chief Justice and raised his right hand, placing his left on the bible, mimicking the Justice’s hand motion.  The Chief Justice smiled and said, “I have had the honour of swearing in three terms of presidents on days just like this.  It is a great honour to swear in one more.  If you will repeat after me:  I,” here the microphone crackled a bit, “do solemnly swear...”

Potus nodded and repeated, “I do solemnly swear...”

The Chief Justice continued, “...to faithfully execute the Office of the President...”

Potus looked confused and took his hand off the bible to look at the paper he had grabbed earlier.  He read, “...that I will execute faithfully the Office of the President...”

The Chief Justice cocked his head and looked over the top of the paper Potus-elect held.  They turned toward each other.  Unaware they were both still wearing microphones the audience could hear the following exchange:

“For fuck’s sake.”

“No, wait, it’s here, see?”

“Over here?”

“No, there, remember we practiced it yesterday?”

“It’s crossed out.”

“We printed a new copy.”

“What the fuck?”

“You don’t remember?”

“Never mind.”

They turned back and the Chief Justice addressed the crowd.  “We’re going to start over again.  I apologise for this slight issue.”  He cleared his throat and Potus again assumed the position, left hand stiffly on the bible at the lectern, right hand raised.

The Chief Justice once again began, “I,” scratchy noises, “do solemnly swear...”

“I do solemnly swear...”

“...that I will faithfully” here with extra emphasis, “execute...”

“...that I will FAITHFULLY EXEcute...” mimicked Potus-elect.

“...the Office of the President of the United States...”

“...the Office of the President of the United States...”

“...and will, to the best of my ability...”

“...and will, to the... uh...”

“...best of my ability...”

“...best of my ability.  Thanks,”

“No problem.  Preserve, protect and defend...”

“...preserve, protect and defend...”

“...the Constitution of the United States.”

“...the Constitution of the United States.  Whew.”

The Chief Justice smiled broadly and said, “I now declare you President of the United States.”

Potus smiled and said, “High five,” waving his raised hand toward the Chief Justice.  The Chief Justice shied away and left the platform.  Potus looked disappointed and looked over at the First Lady.  He kept trying to high five the empty air and pointed dejectedly at the Chief Justice who was now sitting.

The First Lady pointed at the cameras in front of the lectern and yelled in a stage whisper, “Your speech.  Your speech,” and she kept stabbing her finger toward the front of the balcony.