50 Ways to Lose Your Lover

(Rescued from G+ 22 Jan. 2012)

I was always disappointed they never listed them all.

Make a new plan, Stan.
Get on a bus, Gus.
Don't look back, Jack.
Go fuck a duck, Chuck.
Give back the key, Bea.

Go fish, Trish.
Beat a new ho, Jay-o.
Pay alimony, Tony.
Find a new queer, dear.
Divorce me now, cow.

Make a new friend, Ken.
Try some strange, Crane.
Love anew, Stew.
Leave me be, Lee.
Make sure you leave, Jeeves.

Pound a new ass, Cass.
Massage a new client, giant.
Find a new big, dig?
Caress a new clitoris, Delores.
Clean someone's pipes, Snipes.

See a new dick, quick.
Have a new life, wife.
Eat a new ham, Cam.
Cage a new bird, turd.
Go it alone, Bone.

Hit the road, Choad.
Carry your own load, Goad.
Better off dead, Fred.
Empty my bed, dread.
Rub it alone, Sloane.

Walk by yourself, elf.
Out of luck, Buck.
Float your own boat, goat.
Fill your own void, Boyd.
Jump off a bridge, Midge.

Cook for one, Sun.
Don't call me, see?
Dismount, Count.
Don't see my face, Chace.
Follow someone else, Chelse.

Go to hell, Chelle.
Take a flying leap, creep.
Do your own goatse, Bree.
Don't be sad, lad.
I'm all sugared out, Scout.

Use a new loo, Stew.
Stain a different sheet, Creete.
Plug a wider hole, soul.
Call a different number, Summer.
Whip another slave, Dave.